


Garter Snakes

by scizzors



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Character Development, Internal Racism, Juton change reproductive gender, M-preg kinda, Manipulative Loki, Mostly about loki being an ass, Past Torture, Why Did I Write This?, asshole stark., but not really, frostiron if you squint, like some lizards
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-05
Updated: 2017-12-05
Packaged: 2019-02-11 03:06:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12926010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scizzors/pseuds/scizzors
Summary: So maybe Loki did get them both drunk on purpose. Maybe he did know Juton men could get pregnant. And maybe he did disguise himself as a hot brunet women. But in his eyes it was still Starks fault for not reading up on Norse mythology and falling for such a transparent trick.Or in which Loki disguises himself as a women, has a one night stand with Tony Stark, and ends up pregnant all to keep himself out of Asgardian jail





	Garter Snakes

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea why I'm writing this but enjoy I guess.

The wind wiped his hair around his face. A few strands coagulated with the sticky cut on his forehead. Loki grunted as his hand hit the wet stone. He grit his teeth. Getting out of his holding cell had taken more out of him than expected. It left him weak and in pain. His vision was blurring in front of him. One second focused and the next he could only make out vague shapes and colors.

No matter though, It was nothing to be too concerned about. He had experienced worse and has yet survived. A good fortnight of rest should bring him to his former glory..... Glory. He scoffed. Oh how far he had fallen. But now, now he had an out.

The Jüton book was tucked firmly against his left side, his arm pressing against both it and an open wound on his abdomen from where he had been stabbed. Warm blood trickled between his fingers, the rate of which was slowing by the minute. Good. 

He took another step towards the edge of the cliff, his bony fingers sliding along the slate, trailing after him and marking the stone of its shine. The moisture and red blood mixing to a pink wash over the dark stone leaving his mark, however temporary it was, ‘till the next wave crashed against it and washed it away. His lost blood swept into the sea to be forgotten. Forgotten and diluted down until there was neigh a trace of him left. 

He breathed in the salt and winced as the movement jostled his open wound. The city was no doubt flooded with guards by now. The word will have gotten out that he escaped. Good thing he wasn’t in the city anymore but in a small underpass on the side of a cliff. It was a sheer drop and a shallow edge, the water below raging against rocks. If he broke the surface he would no doubt be torn to shreds. The great Loki Ode-..... Laufyson reduces to nothing more than feed for the fish. That was why he had to be careful. He had to be precise and exact. He had no room for error. 

Grunting, he bent over picked up a pebble then tossed it off the cliff, waiting and watching for it to disappear. The only disappearing it did was into the wit caps below. He frowned. He had never used this passage before, it had always been to risky, but with the other uncovered, now the rick for him was familiarity. It was splendid timing that Thor was away on business in one of the other Nine Realms. Loki walked a few passes farther down the cliff side, having press his back against it to keep from slipping over the edge. He reached for another rock, but halfway down into the quay to pick it up his foot slipped. He recovered, pressing flat against the stone behind him. The pebble that almost caused his demise was just out of reach. He glared at it. He carefully inched along the clip further and with the tip of his boot kicked it over the edge. This time, when he waited for it to disappear it did not slip below the water's surface. Instead a flicker of light glinted off the surface of the small rock and then, it vanished. Loki grinned wickedly. This was his first exit. 

No more would he suffer in the jails of Asgard. No more would he starve and be beaten. No more would he struggle under the shadow of the lie his former title proved to be. No. Even if he had to contort his boy and allow a beast to grow inside him he would. Mark his words Loki would be waited on hand and foot. And the Avengers would do it willingly. 

With one last look back at the city he formally called home, Loki took a step off the cliff and fell. 

 

~~~~~~o0o~~~~~~~~

 

The team knew of Thor’s arrival before he entered the room. The sudden and loud thunderstorm that vanished just as quickly as it arrived was all the warning they needed. Thor was mad, and when Thor was mad stuff tended to break. Like Tony’s window for instance. The crack of thunder cause Tony and Steve to duck behind the couch just in time for the spray of window glass to hit the cushions and the wall behind them. 

“What the shit!” Tony exclaimed. 

“We have a problem.” Thor boomed. He circled the room. “Stark! Rodgers! I know you can hear me.” 

“Yeah, we’re right here. No need to yell.”  
Steve stood up and surveyed the damage. Surprisingly, it was less than he expected from such an explosion. 

He walked around the couch to the god and placed a hand on his shoulder to calm him. Only twice had Steve seen him this worked up. Once after the sentencing of his brother, and the other involved a half eaten box of cereal that Wanda still claimed she hadn’t finished. During that unfortunate mess Thor accidentally cracked Tony’s perl counter top in two. If Steve didn’t intervene before Tony got the chance to interject, they would never get to the root of the problem. 

“What did you do to my window!” Tony walked over the the now hole in the wall and put his arms out wide. Too late. Steve thought. Tony turned around slowly. “Seriously!? I though we came to an understanding after the cereal incident.”

“Let’s not have this conversation... again”  
Steve made a desperate grab at the conversationZ 

Thor ignored him. “I had written my name on the box.” 

“Guys stop.”

“You had, yeah in Asgardian! Seriously? Dude, you know this cost money to fix, right?” Tony also ignored him.

“Are you not well endowed in that area?”

“No! Yes, that’s not-“

“Then I don’t see the problem.” Thor seemed genuinely confused and Tony was getting redder by the minute. “On Asgard this little mess is nothing worth tutting about. Surely you can amend it by night fall.” 

The clouds in the skyline behind them were already starting to glow pink in the sun's decent.  
Steve sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. It was the same conversation every time and neither of them got anywhere with it. The sound of approaching footsteps in the hall alerted Steve to Natasha’s and Wanda’s entrance. Both were poised ready for a fight. When they saw the two bickering they relaxed their stance. Natasha raised an eyebrow. Steve mouthed “help” to her and she rolled her eyes. 

“Woah, what happened?” Wanda, one of the newest to the team was not so well versed in this dance the two of them did.

Nat however was just as tired of it as Steve was. “They’re at it again?”

Steve nodded with a hum. “Yeah.” He was less than pleased and his tone proved it. 

“The window?”

“The window.” Steve confirmed.

Wanda ran her hand along the wall inspecting a relatively large piece of glass the side of her fist that was embedded into it. The sheetrock was scattered with thousands of smaller marks just the same. She frowned appreciatively. “Impressive.” 

Tony stopped mid sentence and quickly rounded on her. “No! Not impressive! Bad Thor bad!” 

“So he’s a mutt now?” Steve couldn’t stop himself from forming the words. Natasha sighed next him and shook her head. She was surrounded by children. 

“You seriously can't be defending him.” Tony furrowed his eyebrows. Steve shrugged. “You’re, oh you’re actually defending him. Okay cool.” He bent down and grabbed another shard of glass. “Because THIS!” His voice rose. “This is not cool. Not cool!” 

“Tony please-“ Steve tried to reason. “It’s just a window.”

”The window isn’t the problem!”

Natasha closed and opened her eyes slowly. “Tony I’m sure Thor didn’t mean it.” She toed a few pieces of glass by her feet then sent a pointed look to Thor. “Did you? Thor.” The threat was clear in her voice. It seemed to sober the god up quickly. 

“No. I did not.”

“Oh that’s bullshi-“

“Tony I wasn’t talking to you.” Natasha snapped. Tony shut his mouth. Vision appeared outside the window floating.

Steve and Natasha noticed him first, both turning their attention to them. “There appears to be minimal debris on the sidewalk and no civilians were injured.”

Steve sighed in relief and turned his attention back to Thor who was now looking a little lost. He too towed a few princes of glass that lay at his feet. 

“I’ll clean it up.” He promised. Tony would hold him to that. “But I did come here with concerning news. Loki has escaped Asgard.”

A chill ran across the room. Everyone became silent and still. Vision set foot down on the edge of the floor and walked in. The crunch of his feet against the glass was echoingingly loud. 

“Has he come to earth?” Steve spoke up. 

Thor shook his head. “I know not. He did not leave through the bifrost.”

“So that rules out any possibility of us trailing him by triangulating electromagnetic pulses and shifts in atmospheric pressure.” Tony concluded. “Still though I’d like to get a second opinion on that from Jane.”

Thor nodded “Aye, I will ask her.” 

Steve crossed his arms and shifted his weight. “What makes you think he came here?” 

“You speak of reasons other than the scepter being held by SHIELD?” 

Thors startling words snapped Natasha into action. She slid her phone out of her back pocket and swiped it open. “I’m informing Director Fury, and calling Clint while I’m at it.”

Steve nodded. “Good idea.” Natasha went to leave the room. “And Nat,” He called after her. She paused. “Be easy when you break the news to Barton” She nodded and left. 

Wanda was still inspecting the shrapnel in the wall. She used her magic to pull out a long thin and very pointed piece of glass. “How long ago did he escape?” 

“The guardsmen speak of days. I was not there or this shan’t have happened.” 

“So, he could have been on earth for days and we’re now just finding out?”

“I only just found out myself.” Thor shifted awkwardly. 

Tony grit his teeth. The skyline of New York was beautiful this time of day. A flash of 9/11 sweep this mind. The destruction from that terrorist attack minimal when compared to the loss the Chitauri invasion brought about. He squeezed his eyes shut trying not to think of all the people he couldn’t save. Loki was responsible for that. If that bastard was on earth Tony would hunt him down and kill him. “It’s only a matter of time before people start dying.”

Thor didn’t deny Tony’s words.

 

 

~~~~~~~o0o~~~~~~~~

 

 

It had been four weekend since Loki’s disappearance from Asgardian jail and three weeks since the team was briefed on the matter. Despite this they had yet to find any sign of him on earth. Thor had searched the other nine realms and also came up empty. No mysterious deaths, or disappearances, or distraction had taken place in those three weeks and because of it some of the team were starting to believe that loki truly wasn’t on earth. Others though, like Clint, would stop at nothing to find him. The tension was high in Avengers tower. The stress and the race against the clock to find him before he hit anyone was taking a toll on everyone. The increased workload and obsession because of the trickster god was especially taking its toll on Tony’s relationship with Pepper. 

The bar was busy that night. Busier than normal and perhaps that’s how Tony Stark went unnoticed in the crowd. He nursed his gin and tonic and kept his head low. The barista had already noticed his presence and kept casting him side glances. When she leaned over and whispered to one of her colleagues he figured it was probably about time he get going. He was nowhere near sober enough to deal with the press. Taking out his wallet he leafed though a few bills pulling out $150, he liked to tip big. Upon setting them on the counter however, he found a shot and its twin sat aside his freshly emptied drink. 

“Surely, you can do me the pleasure.” A sultry voice sounded next to him. 

Tony followed it to an attractive woman who now occupied the stool next to him. The fact that he hadn’t noticed her approach spoke to how much alcohol he had already consumed, or perhaps he was just that stressed and overworked. 

He assessed her quickly. His eyes taking in her body. She was tall, and most likely in her 30’s. Her hair was long and wavy, loose curls cascaded over her shoulders. She wore business attire which lead Tony to believe that the faint lines around her eyes were from long working nights. Her blouse was a deep green, and the belt around her black work suit just the same. As his eyes made their way back to her face he saw she cocked a confident thin black eyebrow up over her blue eyes. 

“Don’t worry I’m not here for an interview.” She was joking but her smirk was wicked. Tony found himself drawn in. He settled back into his seat.

“So you know who I am. I find myself at a disadvantage.” Tony fingered the edge of the shot the women had bought them both. 

At his invitation she picked her own up and clinked it against his. Without breaking eye contact she downed it in one go, no grimace bestowing her face at the burn. Tony followed suit with no such luck. A loud cheer broke out in the crowd and Tony looked over her shoulder. A group of burley men, some standing and some sitting hooped and hollard. The TV mounted on the wall showed a replay of a bases loaded home run. Tony turned his attention back to the beautiful women next to him.

“Care to toss a guy a bone and give me a name?” 

“Mmm.” The women seemed to contemplate for a moment and then concede. “Loptr. But you can call me Lo. I know it’s a mouthful.” She winked. 

Something about it made the hairs on his arm raise. Despite the foreign name Tony was sure he had heard it before. The warmth of the alcohol was clouding his thoughts and he couldn’t dredge up the source of familiarity. He could however seen that she was laying it on thick. Internally he rolled his eyes.

“Have me met before?” 

She let out a short burst of laughter and called for another shot. “Surely I hope not.”

Tony wasn’t sure what that meant but as the next round of shots arrived he didn’t question it. They downed those much like the first. A moment of silence settled over them, neither sure how to continue the conversation but both wanting to. After a moment Tony chose to back track a bit. 

“So Lo? Is a first name all I get?”

“All you get?” She questioned. “No I’d say you’re going to get far more than that.” Lo side eyes Tony with a grin and he felt his stomach flip uncomfortably. He had the uneasy feeling of being hunted but it had been so long since he had allowed himself to do something reckless in the semblance of normal human interaction. He was reckless all the time as Ironman. She clearly wanted to get laid and Tony seriously needed to let out some steam. 

Fuck it. Tony would play along. “You know what I’m asking. What’s your last name, sweetheart?”

A tension ran up her spine and her gaze darkened. “That is the question isn’t it.” It was mumbled to herself and Tony knew when to not push a girl on something that was clearly a complicated subject. Though, he didn’t know how complicated a last name could be. Maybe she was recently divorced? He didn’t see a wedding band on her finger. 

“Alright Lo No-Last-Name. I like a mystery. How about I buy us another round of drinks.” It wasn’t a question.

“Oh that sounds fantastic.” Her wolfish grin was back. Tony knew she had played him like a string but now it was his term to turn the charm up. 

He ordered them both the most expensive drink in the bar and again tipped them the bartender heavily. He watched her eyes followed the money. That’s okay. He’s slept with gold diggers before but, when their drinks arrived Lo steered the conversation in a new direction. 

“How’s Pepper?” 

Tony choked on the edge of his drink and placed it down promptly. 

“That bad?” She questioned. 

He waved her off. “No. No. She’s.... She’s fine. She just wanted to ah, take a break.”

“From you?” 

“From... everything I guess.” He gazed into his glass remembering the fight they had had earlier in the day. Now pepper was staying with her mother in California for a few weeks. Tony let the smooth burn of alcohol wash away the bitter thought. “It’s been pretty crazy lately.” 

Lo hummed humorously. “Oh, do tell.” Something lying under her tone made him feel like he was the the butt end of a joke. 

Tony smiled. “Sorry, darling, that information’s clarified.” 

Lo pouted an irritable pout and he found his eyes lingering on her mouth. She noticed, swirled her own drink in her hand, then sipped from it and swished it in her mouth for a moment before swallowing. “I guess it’s her loss then.” 

“Your gain.” 

Again Lo laughed a rich laugh. “Indeed.” 

A few drinks later, linked arm and arm they left the bar leaning against each other. Looking back on it, Tony would realize how stupid he had been. 

——————


End file.
